Negotiations and where it falls down

I was wandering around the net, looking at articles and forms on negotiations, and a few questions struck me as odd.

"Who will be dominant? Who will be submissive?" Nothing personal, but the proper terms should be used, as in "Who will be topping?" and "Who will be bottoming?" If you are negotiating for play, that is not a dominant/submissive task, and those are not roles you can put on and take off like a raincoat anyway.

"The top/bottom can use (only) the following intoxicants during the session..." Not even sure I want to try to say what is SOOO wrong with this one...

"Amount of pain the bottom wants to receive?" OK, no one better say severe with me, my pain tolerance is high, and I know what hurts me. I sat through them stitching my nose up with no pain killers, this one is VERY subjective.

It bothers me to see these posted on sites and by people who are supposedly leaders in the community, but then maybe people need to be pickier about what makes a leader.

7 Jan 2008 14:13:11


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