Lost party etiquette

Etiquette is a set of expected behaviors, the rules of how we interact if you will. The lifestyle as it is today has lost touch with protocol and etiquette, and this is causing quite a bit of friction in the lifestyle.

It's not really the fault of just the new folks either. With the influx of new people into the lifestyle and a lack of any sort of education or mentoring system in place, many new people are simply unaware of what good form is.

There is no "universal" protocol or etiquette, there are some common points that will help overall though.

  • "What happens in vegas..." - Tempting as it may be, you should not discuss that great scene you and John had at the local play party without the permission of everyone involved, that would be You, John, and whoever hosted the party. While some people are open about their activities, some still prefer to keep certain things private.
  • "If it ain't yours..." - Don't touch it, this applies to people as well as toys, while some people will be completely cool with you fondling their flogger, others might get a bit miffed, so ask permission. This goes double for people, a slap on the ass might seem a good idea, but if the ass you are slapping is not yours, that is assault and battery if someone decides to press charges.
  • Nilla exposure - Don't go playing, or talking about involved BDSM techniques around the nillas, it screws with everyone's future enjoyment of that location. Don't show off toys, flog someone, whatever around the nillas. This applies to munches, outside of any event, etc. Keep it private.
  • Don't "out" people - This means, don't use their real name within a BDSM group unless they say it is ok, and don't use their "scene" name in a nilla setting. It should go without saying to not discuss someone's BDSM life in their nilla life, or their nilla life in their BDSM life. Some people like their privacy.
  • "It's pray not prey" - Don't pounce on the new people, give them a chance to breath and get used to things before you try to molest them. The key in "informed" consent, if they are new, they are not informed.
  • "Quiet down" - Don't interrupt someone who is playing, either by being in their space or by talking loudly, if you don't know how loud your voice is, don't talk.
  • "Cleanliness is next to..." - Clean up after yourself, your not a child, no one wants to have to deal with your body fluids or used candy wrappers.

Hopefully these will give people a slightly better idea of how to behave like adults, remember actions become habits if you perform them often enough.

23 Nov 2009 00:00:00


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