Not often I allow myself to look back at the details of what I have done with others and the nature of the conversations, but I was wandering through my IM logs, and for some reaons they are not purged, so there were records 2 years old on there.
Interesting to see the first conversations with those that late came to me for training, first talks with then slaves, who are now Dommes, first talks with people who have come and gone, wondering where they are.
People asking advice, seeking to belong, who moved on, not knowing they had it in their grasp and were not aware enough then to see it.
We all make mistakes in life, mine are documented it seems, situations I should have been more aggressive in mostly, society deals us a cruel hand, the aggressive mand gets what he wants, but don't be too agressive or you will be an exile.
Overall I am proud of the choices I have made, and truely few would be changed, as I think I did the best I could at the time, there are a few that should have gone differently, but I paid the price for those and have moved on.
Perhaps we do not let ourselves look back often because we are scared we will hate ourselves for the chances we wasted, there are some around that I know could have been more than they are now if I had made different choices, but then I would not have the ones I do now if I had taken them, so is it truely a bad thing?
10 May 2007 14:51:36
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