Hiding in plain sight

"Each of us is born with the potential for the unfolding of our true self. When you deviate from the truth, you are interfering with the intention of something greater than you are- call it nature or a higher power. As a result, you develop discomfort."

According to the 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey 20% of people surveyed in the US have had a homosexual experience, 10% have had a sadomasochism experience, and 36% had used masks, blindfolds or had been involved in bondage. According to the 2004 Durex Global Sex Survey 40% of those surveyed had used blindfolds or handcuffs sexually, and 41% had been involved in sexual spanking. So, who are people in the lifestyle hiding from?

The Kinsey report only measured those partaking of S&M, and stated 5% to 10% of the people are into S&M play. Which matches the 2005 Durex results pretty closely, with this kind of data around, the need to hide who we are is less than most would expect.

I work in a tax office, and see many different kinds of people, and get to hear stories. I don't hide who I am, so quite a few clients know the kinds of things I do, and I have yet to have any really negative responses to this. When I go out to eat, I don't hide it. Even tot he point that when eating out while attending SELF, I got to explain BDSM dynamics to our waiter, and he seemed receptive the information. Yeah some are close minded, but most will hear you out if you choose to explain things.

"To hide a passion totally (or even to hide, more simply, its excess) is inconceivable: not because the human subject is too weak, but because passion is in essence made to be seen: the hiding must be seen: I want you to know that I am hiding something from you, that is the active paradox I must resolve: at one and the same time it must be known and not known: I want you to know that I don't want to show my feelings: that is the message I address to the other." - Roland Barthes

To me, this lifestyle is who I am, it is my passion, my life, while that may not be true for others, this is something for me to hide would be like pretending to be someone I am not, and that is not worth the pain and suffering it brings. What do we gain by hiding? Acceptance? It's a fallacy, we are being accepted as someone we are not. As Kurt Cobain said "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

"Society is a masked ball, where every one hides his real character, and reveals it by hiding" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

7 Feb 2008 15:46:04


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