BDSM Safety - Negotiations

Negotiations is one of our most important safety tools, it allows us to know more about what to expect from our partner. It allows us to discuss limits, goals, desires, and past issues.

Negotiations can be very short and to the point, if you are at a party and see someone with a flogger you may walk up and say ?I would like you to flog me on my back with that flogger. I can handle medium levels of pain. My safe word is red.? Negotiations can also be long and drawn out over days, weeks or even months.

Some negotiations use checklists of various BDSM activities allowing the top and bottom to list out their desires, limits and experience in a concise and complete manner.

Negotiations for more than a simple session should include:
? Safe words, if any are to be used.
? Allergies (latex allergies are a major one)
? Medical history (including medications)
? Emotional history, fears, and landmines
? Experience (Be honest)
? Hard limits
? Soft limits
? Actual mentoring or training
? Goals and desires of the session
? Fantasies
? Sex ? What level, if any will be involved?
? ?Deal? breakers, these are things that one person has to have, and the other is opposed to, it happens, move on.
? Aftercare ? What if any is needed or will be provided?

Above all, be honest, if you don?t tell your partner what you expect or what you have problems with, how can you expect them to know?

17 Mar 2008 09:27:10

Comments

No commenting allowed at this time.