BDSM Safety - First session safety

Before you play for the first time, it is a good idea to really get to know the person you will be playing with. Think long and hard about what you expect and desire from the play.

? List your hard and soft limits for the other person to see, yes tops have limits. Hard limits are the things you will not do, soft limits are things you might do, but prefer not to.
? Arrange a safe call, just like a first meeting, a first session is a time that a safe call should be done, often a first session will be at someone?s home, which is a potentially dangerous place. Make sure your safe call knows where you will be, including a motel room number if you are at a motel.
? Tops, have safety equipment and phone numbers for local emergency services ready, sometimes a bottom will have an unexpected reaction to something.
? Keep your first session light, you can always make something more intense later, but it is difficult to back down if you go too far initially.
? Do not attempt something you have no experience or training doing without proper supervision.
? If you choose to use safe words, keep the simple, like ?red? for stop, and ?yellow? for slow down. For a first session, you can simply use the word ?stop? or ?no more?, a force session where resistance is normal, is not really a good first session, it would be better saved for when you know each other more.
? Do not do full bondage in a first session, the bottom should always feel they can get away if they need to.
? If at any point you feel uncomfortable, stop, get dressed and talk it out, play can always wait until the issues are dealt with. If you still feel uncomfortable after talking, leave.
? Bring a condom, if things progress to sex, make sure you have one, this is not the man?s responsibility, it is both partner?s responsibility.

20 Mar 2008 09:24:08

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