BDSM Safety - Aftercare

Aftercare is every bit as important, and in some cases more important than the actual play. BDSM sessions can be exhausting, depleting the bottom?s internal resources. As a result, frequently the bottom requires emotional support, comfort, reassurances, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, they may experience everything from exhilaration to emotional trauma.

Depending on the participants and the intensity of the session, anything from blankets, to juice, to chocolate may be needed after the session. Touching, comforting and cuddling are also major factors in aftercare.

Aftercare in its most simple form is just being there with your partner for a sufficient time period that they feel safe and no longer feel the need to cling to you. It is equally important to recognize that aftercare is for both the Dominant and the submissive. If either person leaves too soon then their partner may feel abandonment or loss far exceeding the apparent parameters of the interaction

Aftercare may include a review or debriefing of the activities from experiences of both the top and the bottom. How soon this occurs, after such a session will vary.

Why aftercare is often ignored:
? Very little is written about it in the ?major? texts.
? Unlike play, techniques vary from person to person.
? At a party, one or both people may be in a hurry to get to another partner or session.
? It is more intimate, and some have trouble there.
? Lack of knowledge, many think the session is just the play.

Good news though, aftercare can be improved by simply caring about the person you play with.

20 Mar 2008 09:27:21

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