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Why I AM poly and why I'm NOT monogamous

OK, this is a pretty direct response to a post I saw on Fetlife. While not my typical style, I have styled it to reflect the style the original post was done in. Lets see how it works...

So, some may ask, "Why would I care for more than one person when I could limit myself to just one?" Well here's my answer: Typically limiting your affection to just one person leads to an increase in jealousy and insecurities, the need to feel you cannot live without your partner, all in all it leads to unhealthy relationships. Anyone who thinks poly leads to jealousy has not paid attention, "monogamous" couples have jealousy a plenty, and insecurities because they feel they might be replaced, where in a poly relationship, others can be added, there is no need to practice "serial monogamy".

Now, why I am poly. Our society is caught up in the after effects of Victorian morality. Throughout most of our history, poly has been the norm, but with the Victorian era things got highly restricted, homosexuals, poly relationships and anything outside the highly restricted morals of the church were outlawed. Love is meant to be free, Jesus told us to "love your neighbor as yourself", now that does not mean we should have a passionate love for everyone, but it does show that love is meant to be much more free than the limitations many place on it. Love is meant to be a passion, a flame, and what does a flame do when you smother it? It dies. I believe that being poly is a challenge, more so than being monogamous, in a truly monogamous relationship, the partners don't grow to be better, they cling to each other like they are drowning, keeping things balanced, learning to stay flexible to handle the needs of different people, that is growth potential.

I have had monogamous D/s experiences, one lasted for many years, but a couple of years in the smothering effect doused the flame of love I felt initially, I even contemplated suicide at one point, not a place I ever thought I would be and one I do not care to get back to. I am loyal, faithful and devoted to my partners. I see monogamy as selfish and limited, monogamous people are putting their own insecurities out as limits on their relationships, putting their own insecurities above their partner.

This is why I AM poly. Why are you poly or monogamous? Why aren't you poly or monogamous? I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on the subject.

16 Jul 2009 04:00:13

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