Nature vs nurture in BDSM

"The route through childhood is shaped by many forces, and it differs for each of us. Our biological inheritance, the temperament with which we are born, the care we receive, our family relationships, the place where we grow up, the schools we attend, the culture in which we participate, and the historical period in which we live?all these affect the paths we take through childhood and condition the remainder of our lives." - Robert H. Wozniak

This is actually pretty simple, some are born submissive, some are born dominant, some acquire that later in life. Those of us born to it, it permeates our core, who we are and who we will always be. For those that acquire it later, generally it is not as dramatic, it is a role to them, something many of them can take or leave, even allowing some to switch roles.

This i similar to the whole straight, bi, gay groups in sexual orientation, some are born that way, some learn it, and some fake it.

None of the groups is better than others, simply different, generally those born to be dominant or submissive are going to be more dramatic in their role, though some who learn it later are just as dramatic, it is just more rare. Switches generally miss a great deal on both ends of the spectrum.

Many in both roles are simply looking for attention, kinky sex or easy sex. Many more switches are into this unfortunately, as you can determine for yourself by looking around the ads on a website and seeing how many "doms" maintain "submissive" IDs as well.

I have said it before, and will likely keep on saying... There is no one true way in this lifestyle, but there are a lot of wrong ways. Practice safety, safety, safety, check people out, the good looking dom with lots of experience and no submissive is hiding something. That something may be a lack of experience (No 2 years of going to the dungeon to play is not "experience"), a submissive or submissives he keeps floating without them knowing, a wife, that he is a drunk/drug addict, etc, etc.

Yeah I know, his submissive just died in a car accident last month. If I believed that one as many times as I have seen it claimed, I would never let a submissive drive, apparently they are REALLY bad at it.

Yeah it's kinda ranty, just not too many ways to say look out, lots of fakes out there without it coming off a little snippy.

"To fake it is to stand guard over emptiness" - Arthur Herzog

18 Feb 2008 19:13:33

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