Memories of training
"I once betrayed my codes," I said. "It is not my intention to do so again." I looked at her. `One does not know, truly what it is to stand, until one has fallen. Once one has fallen, then one knows, you see, what it is to stand." - Beasts of Gor
Yes, once I did betray my codes, I allowed what was easy, what was convenient to influence what I did, I am not proud of that time in my life, nor will I return, for with the knowledge of what that self-betrayal did to me, I will never return to it or allow my own values to be compromised, my integrity will remain solid.
I had forgotten my training, the words of wisdom passed on to me by Master William, the days of lessons to drill philosophy into my head, he said I had the determination to be what I chose to be, but that I would have to stand strong against many attacks from cowards who choose what is easy over what is right.
I was trained in what is Gorean and what the Warrior codes had to say, how to stand tall and be a man, I owe him much of who I am, almost as much as I owe my Father and Grandfather for their contribution to what makes me who I am, they gave me the role models of what a man was, unwilling to compromise who they were even in the face of trouble.
Many have asked me to speak of my past training, and to pass on the knowledge of what it is to be Gorean, but I am not sure that knowledge can be passed on easily, everyone wants the short cuts, "take what you like and toss the rest" is not acceptable to Goreans, I hold that we must be true, true to ourselves, true to others, without that integrity, we are nothing, and that is what I see the lifestyle has become, nothing. I mourn the loss, so many good people in bad situations, so many sacrificing themselves on the alter of fun and casual play.
"One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised." - Chinua Achebe
William, I hope wherever you are now, you look down on me and approve, perhaps even are proud of my actions, I know in the end I have only to answer to myself. Maybe one day my family will understand as well.
29 Aug 2007 14:44:45
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