Consent

"Silence gives consent" - Pope Boniface VIII

Why is it in this lifestyle, we keep hearing horror stories about tops taking advantage of a restrained bottom, or a top coming into a session that was being done by another top? Simple, because people don't hold themselves to a high enough standard, these things are simply wrong, but many allow them, and those who do not stand up and say something are just as wrong as those who do the acts.

As an example: A bottom does not negotiate, but agrees to play with a top, the session begins, the bottom is tied up and blindfolded, the session goes a while, and the top turns the flogger over to another top to "take over", is this right?

Another example: A bottom volunteers to be the demo model for a bondage demo, while tied the top tickles her or slaps her ass, is this right?

And a final example: A bottom negotiates a spanking session, saying she prefers hand spankings and does not like canes, the top spanks with the hand a little while and then brings out a cane to use, is this right?

Odds are some will see no problem with one or more of those scenarios, but really they are all wrong unless some other factor comes into play. Often we do not have all the information needed to decide if something is right or wrong, but many times we do, and we stand by and watch it happen, that makes us guilty as well.

What can be done to fix this situation? Enforce the rules, stand up for those that don't know better, stand up for ourselves, and simply make an effort not to allow ourselves to fall into those situations, if you are a top and another top hands you a flogger to "take over" a session, unless you KNOW for a fact it is OK with the bottom, don't do it, if you are a bottom and someone does something like this to you, speak up, let them know it was wrong.

"To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is a finer." - Mark Twain

19 Dec 2007 14:08:17

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