BDSM and the perpetual victim

We have all seen them, they are always seeking sympathy for their real or imagined problems. Often these types will seek out trouble in order to have something to gain pity for. All the problems are someone else's fault, never their own.

The lifestyle has plenty of these, often times I think there are more people like this in the lifestyle than there are in "normal" society. What about the lifestyle draws these people, seems we are all fucked up in some way, the victims, the liers, the cheats, the white knights, the sadists, the masochists, predators, and other self esteem issues.

A good dominant is going to have the strong urge to help a victim, real or imagined. This is a good thing, it shows we care, but unfortunately those in a victim mentality will come to the dominant for help again and again, and this becomes a burden.

So, what do we do about them? I wish I knew, best I can think of is to quit enabling them, but that requires learning to recognize them early on. I have fallen victim to them far too many times, if anyone knows how to deal with them, please let me know. I am tired of riding in on my white horse and getting used.

28 Jun 2009 10:56:15

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