Integrity in the BDSM community

I am seeing more and more often people who are going to parties hosted by people who just a few short years ago had all sort of issues, from outing others, to being sex offenders. I know some people were always willing to set aside what is morally right for a good time, but when did it become most of the people in the community?

"The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

What kind of integrity are our "leaders" or even our common members showing when they attend a party hosted by a known predator? What about when they hang out with them all the time? Should you be friends with someone who has shown multiple times in the past that they have no values?

"A life lived with integrity - even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune is a shinning star in whose light others may follow in the years to come." - Denis Waitley

We are supposed to lead our lives as an example of what values we hold true. What values do you old true when you attend an event hosted by someone who has outted others? Or who is a registered sex offender?

Comments (0) 22 Oct 2012 12:32:47

Moving on

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded." - Mark Twain

This past Friday was my last day on the board of T3WD. It was a long three years serving on the board, but I look back and see where we started and where we are now and I am amazed how much was accomplished.

When I took the group over, it was not doing well, many of the older members had moved on, and newer members had not been joining the group. This was an issue, since lack of attendance limited the quality of the workshops and demos that could be done.

Now, three years later, the group attendance is once again massive, and the group is financially sound. More people are active and willing to step up to work to keep the group going, so hopefully it will be a while before another inevitable decline.

I would have to attribute some of the success to getting the group out there more in front of people, making sure people knew there was a group in the area and when our events were taking place. The people in the group being welcoming of new people helped as well. When we got new people, most of them stayed around.

I am happy the age to join was dropped to 18 from 21. That people began to see the rules apply to everyone, irrespective of the drama that might have occurred.

I look forward to seeing where the new board takes things. I am working on other projects and spending time with my not quite 6 month old son.

"There's something about being with a group of people who become like family that must be needed in society." - Jacqueline Bisset

Comments (0) 6 Sep 2012 17:53:58

Community (part the second)

OK, to delve into community a bit more, do we in the lifestyle have a community, yeah, sort of. It might be immature, chaotic ans dysfunctional at times, but it's a community.

But, do you feel you are a part of a community? Well Dr. David M. Chavis came up with a survey method of determining that, it is a set of questions that you score to determine how much a part of a community you feel like you are. It's called the Sense of Community Index (SCI), there is also a second version (SCI-2) that has more questions.

Modified for the lifestyle it would be: (score 1 for each true statement)
Q1. I think my local BDSM group is a good place for me to be.
Q2. People in my local BDSM group share the same values I have.
Q3. Other local people want the same things from the local BDSM group that I do.
Q4. I can recognize most of the people who are in my local BDSM group.
Q5. I feel at home in the local BDSM group.
Q6. Most of the members of the local BDSM group know me.
Q7. I care about what other members of the local BDSM group think of my actions.
Q8. I have influence over what the local BDSM group is like.
Q9. If there is a problem in the local BDSM group the members can get it solved.
Q10. It is very important to me to be a member of the local BDSM group.
Q11. People in the local BDSM group generally get along with each other.
Q12. I expect to be a member of the local BDSM group for a long time.

Subscales for focusing on certain issues:
Membership=Q4+Q5+Q6
Influence=Q7+Q8+Q9
Reinforcement of Needs=Q1+Q2+Q3
Shared Emotional Connection-Q10+Q11+Q12

While some of these questions will reflect on the individual more than the group, they do give a sense of how much a person feels they are part of the community.

So, what's you score?

Comments (0) 29 Jun 2011 12:00:00

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